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During my life I met a lot of enlightened beings whom I asked about relationships. I had different relationships during my life. My last relationship was with the mother of my son, a deep and warm trustfull relationship. With the concept of “relationship” came expectations, memories of past relationships and further personally and culturally conditioned mental concepts. There was often the present moment and relating moments.

A warm relationship until the moment she decided to stop the communication. She simply stopped to communicate and be the person I knew.

 

How we relate and love depends on our youth and how we deal with our ideas, concepts, expectations. To our ego, loving and wanting are the same, whereas true love has no wanting in it, no desire to possess the other or for your partner to change. The ego makes someone special and uses that person to cover up the constant underlying feeling of discontent, unhappiness or insufficiency, anger and hate.

All are closely related facets of an underlying deep seated feeling in human being that is inseparable from the ego.

When the ego says “I love you”, inevitably the person you've made so special fails to function as a cover up for your pain, hate or unhappiness.

Then the feelings come out that were covered up before and projected onto the "beloved" person. Suddenly love turns into hate. The ego doesn’t realize that the hatred is a projection of the universal pain that you feel inside caused by a deeper level of yourself: not being one with yourself.

 

Some people go through many relationships...I did. We fall in- and out of love many times. Only surrender gives us what we are looking for.

Accepting the moment as it is.... Then, something else emerges that had been covered up: an innate, indwelling aliveness of peace and stillness.

It is the unconditioned you yourself. When that happens a completely different kind of love comes arise, not subject to love or hate. 

Awareness of the phenomenal universe that caused the tension between the opposites. These polarities are part of existence and -of course- part in every relationship. We can change these polarities: surrender! They'll continue to exist on the outer level but if we surrender they manifest in a gentle way and are no longer threatening.